Someone has done something sexual to you that you did not want.

The term sexual violence is used here to describe any sexual act that was done to you without you knowingly and freely giving consent or agreeing to. You may know this as sexual abuse, sexual assault, unwanted sexual acts, forced sexual acts or rape.

Some examples of consent not being knowingly or freely given could include:

• Consent initially being given but later being withdrawn
• Consent being given due to fear, intimidation, or other forms of coercion
• If you are or were under 16 when it happened
• If you were so intoxicated to the extent that your decision-making capacity was impaired
• If you were unconscious or asleep

Not explicitly saying ‘no’ or fighting to get away does not imply consent, as you may experience a freeze response, including feeling disconnected from your thoughts and feelings, feeling disconnected from your physical body, or even becoming so afraid that you experience temporary immobility.

Experiencing sexual violence is never easy and it is never your fault, regardless of:

• whether it happened recently or years ago
• who hurt you
• whether it happened more than once
• whether or not it caused visible, physical injury to you
• whether you decided to report to police or not
• whether you had been drinking or using recreational drugs
• whether the person who used violence against you had been drinking or using recreational drugs
• whether the person who used violence against you was upset or stressed
• whether you were believed by others or not
• how you coped with it afterwards.

Sexual violence can be physical:

• someone touching you inappropriately
• someone making you touch them inappropriately
• forcing you to have sex (even if you have had sex with them previously or were having sex and decided you didn’t want to continue)
• genital mutilation (sometimes referred to as female circumcision or cutting).

Sexual violence can be non-physical:

• using words or threatening you with sexual violence
• making you look at someone else doing sexual acts
• sending intimate photos or videos (such as nudes) of you to others or posting them online without your permission
• sending menacing, harassing or offensive messages that are sexual in nature.

Sexual violence can be committed by and experienced by both men and women.

It is still sexual violence and a crime, even if it is done by:

• your husband or wife
• your current or former partner
• someone you have previously had sex with
• a family member
• a friend
• someone you know
• someone you don’t know.